I Am Sure

I am going to be 40 years old this week. Although my professional life seems to be going in a great direction, I am feeling a bit inadequate otherwise. Aside from feeling a  small amount of fear about growing older, there are a few things that I am sure about. I am sure that I love my family. I am sure that if I don’t  physically work out on a regular basis, (at least three times per week), my body suffers. I am sure that if I physically feel horrible, my mental inhibitions increase, not just a little, but paralyzingly. In turn, my eating habits suffer. I am sure that this all eventually leads up to a deep seeded “all or nothing” type of self worth within me. I am sure it’s not healthy. I am sure this is a cycle of sorts. I am sure it’s part of being a codependent person. I am sure that no matter how bad it gets, I have no one to blame but myself for getting the gears in place for this self destructive ball a-rolling. I am sure that allowing you this insight into my very personal thought processes scares some of you and that is exactly why I felt the need to reflect on it. Being honest with you about myself helps me make healthier choices regarding my mind, body, and soul. All this aside, and while unexpectedly pondering my crappy eating habits of late, I realize that there is something that really bothers me while dining out, which I, incidentally have been doing a lot of lately. When waitstaff come to the table to take one’s order, it really stresses me out when they don’t write anything down. I am sure there is no way one is capable of remembering the details of everyone’s order by the time the last  person in my dinner party recites their order. I am always relieved and pleasantly surprised when the food arrives exactly right, which has made me come to realize that maybe some things I am sure about aren’t exactly sure, maybe my self worth doesn’t need to be affected by a cycle that I have complete control over, and maybe, just maybe turning 40 this week can be the greatest thing that has ever happened to me in my whole life, after all I am sure I have complete control over that as long as I can remember long enough for it to matter just like the waitstaff who takes our order.image

 

 

 

 

 

23 Weeks & A Custody Case

Adrian is kicking harder every day! We have all felt a little “hello” kick  from our little guy after patiently waiting with our hands held over Kylie’s swollen belly. At 23 weeks, Kylie and Lopez are already over half way through their pregnancy and Kylie couldn’t be feeling any better.

It’s been 95 days since Lopez has seen his infant son from a previous relationship. His baby’s mother continues to refuse to accommodate visitation. At the pre-trial custody hearing on December 23rd, Lopez’s attorney requested and was awarded a continuance in order to obtain paternity through child support because his baby’s mother continues to also refuse to submit to a DNA test voluntarily.

Christmas was bitter sweet for  Lopez as his son’s gifts were the only ones left unopened after Christmas morning, although hopeful anticipation was renewed after a visit with his attorney the following week, as they went over their legal plan. Next step, full custody and to be honest, after watching my son in law’s heart ache over the absence of his son in his life for the past 95 days, I will not feel sorry for his ex once we win his case… I don’t think anyone will, actually!

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Shiny Shoes

We walked into Dillard’s Department Store… Sorry! Shiny shoes are hilarious no matter where you come from and we couldn’t help ourselves from gawking, stroking, and imagining each one of us ever wearing these in our everyday lives. This was a bit ironic as it seemed that all 10 of us were in fact incidentally being gawked at. Our family has always been a sight of sorts everywhere we go. Maybe it’s because it’s so large and hard to tell when the immediate becomes extended. Maybe it’s because we wear snow boots scarves, hats, and mittens while traipsing through the mall instead of  being adorned in pashminas and shiny shoes. It’s not because we can’t afford them, but mostly because we are practical by nature. For God’s sake, it’s under 20 degrees outside! Which leads me to why we were there in the first place. It’s a practical family’s duty to take advantage of the after Christmas sales. Everything in sight is on sale, clearanced, or “gimmicked” to be rid of, and “after Christmas madness” seemed to be in full swing. I should be relaxed and relieved to have the stress of the holiday successfully behind me. As a mother of such a large family, one can only imagine all of the kind of crazy I go through getting ready for what I always strive to be, hands down, the greatest day of the year for my family.  I have always loved the excitement of the renewed feelings of starting over and going into a New Year of great possibilities, but for some reason, now that the Holidays are officially over, I was sad. I lacked the usual excitement. What caused this unusual melancholy to sink into my soul, you wonder? I think it was this sign I snapped a picture of on our way home from the shiny shoe store, don’t get me started counting all the ways this seems just plain wrong, and it made me sad. Hmmm… maybe my New Year of possibilities should include a pair of shiny shoes!

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Intentions and Expectations

Stepping Off The Pedestal

I created this blog for you! I invite everyone to post your everyday issues and comment on mine without any expectations of feeling good about what you have done today, or any other day.  After all, if you posted your daily accomplishments on FaceBook or told your sister, neighbor or best friend that you were supermom/super wife today and did an art project with your toddlers, accomplished 4 loads of laundry, prepared dinner already and its only 2 p.m! That would be a great thing to feel good about, for sure!  However, we need to start feeling good about accomplishing these things simply because we love feeling pride for ourselves.  These everyday accomplishments define part of who we are. I mean, come on! Did you truly do all of that laundry to make your best friend jealous because she didn’t have as much energy or love for her family…

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20 Weeks!!

I have to admit that I have really been looking forward to updating everyone! Kylie and Lopez had their 20 week ultrasound yesterday, lucky for me, I was wrong about thinking they were having a girl, and it’s a boy!!!! I can’t be right about everything after all!

With all of the trouble during her pregnancy early on, we’ve all been on pins and needles waiting for this ultrasound. I am relieved to report that upon close inspection, baby “Adrian Michael Lopez” seems to be perfectly happy and healthy! Hands down, the best Christmas gift ever!

Kylie has been remarkably better, despite a few headaches, a few meltdowns (bless Lopez!), and she is still taking her formula via tube feedings at night. She tests her blood once a week and we express ship it to the OSHU Lab in Portland where they test her phenylalanine level. The results since her feeding tube has been placed have been within the normal limits.

The next 20 weeks to go should be a breeze. Maybe they all can relax a little and finally enjoy the milestones of their little family-to-be!

 

Merry Christmas To Rome

Yes! The fact That I paid $10 for a bone for a dog I really don’t enjoy(ok, maybe a tiny) proves something that will be helpful to understanding this story!

First off… I do not understand why someone would deprive their child of anything that could enrich his life, besides selfishness. A Father that wants to be part of his child’s life and taking responsibility is rare, in my opinion. Secondly, what happens when that same father was taken advantage of at 16…. and she is still doing it two years later? As a foster parent, our family has always supported biological relationships even when it didn’t seem like the right thing to do in our hearts. Here is the thing though, it’s not about our hearts, it’s about the child. In my son in law’s case, If it was truly about the child… Lopez, himself was also a child. He was taken advantage of by his baby’s mother. He was 16 and she was 22 when their son was conceived! I seriously can’t be the only person on the planet that sees the injustice or criminality of this. The fact is, this is rape no matter how you spin it. If I were Lopez’s parent, she would be charged, if not for any other reason, but to have some small justice for her son. Normally I would think that separating a baby from his mother might not be in the best interests of her child, but in this case it truly is because she also has a previous conviction of injury to her other child (public record). 


Lopez’s attorney counseled him to seek his own paternity test to submit to the court, before he had to put in for a court order just to save some money on the baby’s mother’s end of things. It’s not officially court ordered at this point, but needed. Keep in mind, he is suing his baby’s mother for full custody. #itwouldhavebeenhelpfultoknow that one can simply purchase a paternity kit at a pharmacy for around $20 plus an $80 lab fee. What is so crazy? I am a former healthcare provider that worked in a lab. I am also spearheading a paternal rights campaign for my son in law and I sincerely had no idea that one could buy a paternity kit at Walgreens and have the report back in less than 2 days! If not for any other reason but piece of mind!
It’s been 70 days since Lopez has seen his son, because his baby’s mother is… well, selfish. If you think I am being harsh, guess what she said to submitting her son, “voluntarily” to a paternity test?
Yikes! Lopez’s baby hasn’t seen his father in 70 of the most important, informative days in his life, his baby’s mother should care about that! feel bad for her son, I feel bad for Lopez, I feel really bad for her, whom happens to be the one standing on that horribly wobbly, unstable pedestal. Wobbly indeed, only one probation violation could blow her right over all because she has effectively built this on the back of her very own son, and his father!

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest! Ok, I will admit, the $10 bone had nothing to do with this, Merry Christmas & enjoy your bone, Rome!

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