I have discovered something very important and I am super excited to share! I have realized that since I’ve been going back and experiencing the processes of codependency the last couple of days with my readers, I find myself striving once again to make sure that my line hasn’t been crossed and again focusing on making decisions in my everyday life to genuinely be better, maybe work on my sturdy pedestal? I have decided to tie a string around my wrist. Do you remember when George Bailey’s uncle tied a string around his finger in order to remember to deposit the money in the movie, “Its A Wonderful Life”? The string around my wrist will become a reminder to me in the same way, as feeding into codependency becomes so natural, it is hard to remember to stop and realize the reasons for doing things. I will look at the string around my wrist and immediately I will remember my place and my limits in this particular situation in my life at this very moment.
It was hard letting go today as Lopez took Kylie to her ob appointment for the first time today without me. I felt like this was an opportunity for me to step back a little since we had already figured out what to do about her failed IV over the past couple of days. We will try liquid Zofran into her G-tube in hopes of helping with the nausea just as the IV was doing before it failed, in hopes of avoiding a PICC line. She really didn’t need me to go with and advocate for her TODAY anyway. Lopez was perfectly capable being there for Kylie.
I have to admit, my heart was a bit sad that I wasn’t there when they told me that the baby’s heart rate was a strong and healthy 167 BPM. Although, as I heard that and imagined the joy they shared together, all of the stress and sleepless nights the past five weeks seemed to be completely worth it! 10 weeks: