Anxieties of a Mother

As her junior year is in full swing, my anxiety is growing more and more intense on a daily basis. Every time I  turn around, there is another paper to sign regarding college prep for one reason or another. I constantly find myself in a paralyzing fear of her being more unprepared for the real world than I ever was.

She isn’t like me at all even though I gave birth to her, my first child 16 & 1/2 years ago. I had my whole life planned out from age 5. I guess I expected her to know exactly what she wanted to do with her life, so you could imagine my horror when her dad and I asked her what college she was thinking about, and what she would major in. That one and only question that a kid will be asked more times than they can count throughout their childhood, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, and her answer was, ugh… “I don’t know”. What?  You have had 16 & 1/2 years to think about it, to dream about it… seriously?.. YOU DON’T KNOW???

Then, what she said next rang through my body like a lightening bolt…”Well, my first choice would be to move to Dallas and join the Dallas Cheerleaders, as dance has always been my true passion.” Realistic much? As those words hit my already sweltering, hot ears, I could literally feel my blood pressure rise, and before I knew it, I was yelling and she was in tears. Realistic much? She might as well move to Africa and feed all the hungry children with her lawn mowing money. Seriously, did I shelter her so much that she actually believes that this is even a possibility for her? 

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